Writing My Way Out of Hiding
I’ve written under more than one name. But never my own. Not yet.
Moving from one mask to another, I searched for a safe place for my voice.
Always wanting to create something bold and filthy. Something to eviscerate shame.
I just wasn’t ready to be seen doing it.
The Beginning
M. L. Patterson (2020)
In March 2020, I published my first series, Jessica’s Game, under the pen name M. L. Patterson.
No headshots. No personal details. No clues about who I was.
I thought I'd be safer that way.
The story itself wasn’t safe.
Jessica wasn't just unfaithful. She was sadistic.
Unsettling to some readers. An anti-hero shaped by trauma and desire.
But to me, hers was always a love story.
Her husband went through shock, grief, anger, even revenge.
In the end, he chose her. Not because she learned to behave. But because he grew to see and accept her fully.
Something I wasn't yet able to give myself.
When Readers Reacted
Reviews were mixed.
Some readers were disturbed.
Some rejected Jessica entirely.
Others understood her and appreciated the story.
I felt all of it deeply.
And stepped away for a year.
Exploring Consensual Non-monogamy (2022–2023)
In 2022, a fellow author encouraged me to try again. So I did.
I kept writing about wives sexploring outside their marriages, but this time, I went with something lighter.
Erotic shorts. Hotwives. And their enthusiastic husbands.
I packaged them to fit trends in "Hotwife" fiction at the time.
And even though the stories were short, I wove them together to express the same heart and theme as Jessica's Game:
That a woman’s erotic essence is not something to tame —
but something to witness, accept, and embrace.
Becoming Morgan Hale (2023)
By early 2023, I became frustrated with M. L. Patterson. Impatient. I had attracted more male readers than female. And while I appreciated my male readers, my heart's desire was to reach women.
Even back then, I believed women liberated in their sexual desire could transform the world.
And I also still believed in the power of a book.
The power of story.
At the time, female readers devoured steamy billionaire romances, and I just knew I could do it better. Hotter. Steamier.
So, I studied the genre. Studied the tropes. Studied the patterns that seemed to hit the spot with female readers.
In June 2023, I co-wrote my first "filthy" billionaire romance novel with a ghostwriter and published Faking for Keeps.
And while I brought the filth to "steamy romance" with this book and infused my love for a woman's erotic psyche into every page, I had also done myself and my readers a disservice.
I diluted my voice by comparing it to others.
Prelude To A Turning Point
By this point, I had taken multiple courses on book marketing. Learned the strategies of successful authors. Publish in a series, they said. Readers hate cliffhangers, but use them anyway, they said. Advertise on Facebook, they said.
So, when I completed my second filthy romance novel, this time on my own, I planned to launch it according to all that advice.
I split A Billionaire's Second Chance into five novellas, launched the first one as a five day free promotion, and had my most successful book launch to date.
Almost 8,000 readers from 13 different countries downloaded the first novella. It hit #1 in the Enemies to Lovers and Billionaire Romance categories on Amazon. #29 in the entire Amazon store.
I was blown away.
And then, over the weeks that followed, I watched it plummet from that height into obscurity.
I'd given my heart and soul to this book. Endeavored to tell a love story that sizzled with sex.
I still love this book. I'm very proud of it.
But I also now see that I was again doing myself and my readers a disservice. I was listening to everyone else but my inner voice. I was diluting my purest truth.
When the book faltered after its initial meteoric launch, I came to the end of myself. I unpublished the five novellas and re-released as a single, standalone novel. I did the same with Faking for Keeps.
And I stopped writing. I was ready to look within.
Coming Out of Hiding
This is me now.
In 2025, I shed all my masks. After diving into meditation, retreats, and personal coaching, I'm finally at a place where I'm done hiding, and I'm done imitating anyone else.
I've learned that the safest place for my voice is in the truth.
I finally understand that speaking and writing in authenticity will lead me to the women I'm meant to reach.
That's, of course, the spirit behind the Filthy Little Secrets podcast that I launched at the end of 2024.
It will be the spirit behind the books I will write and publish in the future. All my books carried seeds of this person I have become. I am grateful for all of them. I am proud of all of them.
They led me here. They are my filthy little secrets. And like the women who come on my show, I'm no longer hiding the fact that I wrote them.
Because it's the truth. And that's my safe place.